A coach is asked to present a wellbeing workshop for an organisation’s staff. The group arrive and are presented with a room full of fifty golden balloons, each with the name of one of the participants on it.
The coach asks the group to look for their own balloon as quickly as possible and in complete silence. Those who find their balloon are told they will be eligible for a small reward.
There follows a chaotic scramble; lots of pushing and balloon popping. After a few minutes the exercise is stopped and from the fifty there are a handful of participants clutching their balloons. They are rewarded with a small box of chocolates. The rest have the glum outlook of people forced to go on a training course by their employers whilst their workload piles up at their desk.
The coach runs the exercise again but this time lets the group know that once they find a balloon with a colleagues name on it they should take it over to their workmate. Within a few minutes everyone is holding their own golden balloon. The coach then asks everyone to peel off their name tags. Behind each tag the word happiness is written.
I’m not going to hammer the point home but it’s clear and apparent that this simple little exercise reveals some great truths. We find our happiness and get to understand our strengths and weaknesses through helping others find theirs. We hold a mirror up and reflect each other’s joy. The joy is more than doubled. There is the joy of helping another and celebrating with them, the joy of receiving a gift and the collective joy of the group. Someone way smarter than me said,
“Illness begins with I and Wellness begins with we”
We find out what makes us tick by helping others uncover their truth. To do this all you need is a bit of time, a bit of space and people with positive intention for each other . Usually we do this with best mates and family and I feel really blessed to have lovely friends and such an amazing family .
There maybe times in our lives when we feel at a crossroad or feel the need to step outside of the circle of our friends and reflect on our experience in a different way ; for example when looking for a new job or to gain insight into a whole new way of living. So there may be times when our friends and family don’t have the resources to provide this insight and in order to grow we need the dispassionate reflection of a stranger.
At our centre in Waterloo we have coaches who have the time, space and positive intent to help – David, Dorinda, Madeleine , me and Anita. Find out more by reading our profiles at www.breathe-london.com/coaching
The time we are given
A few days ago a good friend, Emily Collins, shared a message on Facebook which suggested that on average once you are into your 30s you have something like 1,800 weekends left to live (I did the math and thought it should be a bit more). Some people posted that they felt that it was grim news but I felt that it was an uplifting a message about making the most of the time we have. If you don’t believe me listen to Gandalf:
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that we are given”
Research suggests that we find the concept of finite life so difficult to comprehend that we use every power that our ego possesses to suppress this truth and base many of our life decisions (both economic and psychological) on the false premise of continuity.
For me the 1,800 weekends left idea is a validation of my decision 9 years ago to leave the world of corporate finance to do a job I love. I wanted my Monday to Friday and holidays to be at least as joyful as the weekends.
Meaning and joy
Thinking of life as a finite thing makes you approach each day as a special gift. Of course we may already have just a few weekends left or maybe none.
If we look at our daily activities we can ask a simple question, “Does this activity bring me either joy or bring me a deeper meaning and understanding of who I am and what my place is in the world?” Of course there inevitably follows a far more complex question. “If the activity that I am doing brings me little or no joy now but I know that it enables me to have joy in the future, to what extent do I defer joy if life is uncertain and finite?”
The benefit of deferring joy is that it builds tenacity and willpower. In studies, little kids who are able to sit in a room on their own and deny themselves the pleasure of eating a sweet now, compared to waiting for two in 10 minutes, are on average happier in later life, achieve more academically and are more successful in their careers.
The only problem with deferring joy is that it can become a habit. Some people do it until they retire, counting the days away. And in all those long years of denial they forget how to be playful and childlike. They lose their creativity, their spark and their energy.
So perhaps we can look at what we do each day with more awareness and remind ourselves:
– Life is precious and short
– Am I clear that if I am deferring joy today it is because I am working towards something which has a deep meaning and I value (what I truly value – not what my peers, family or society values)
Obviously with 1,800 weekends or so people are tempted to pursue hedonism – to fulfil themselves through consumption (food, sex, cars, houses etc). The problem with these joys is that they tend to be fleeting and habit forming. Because they entice the senses so much they invite repetition and can squeeze out other forms of joy that the world has to offer. Again the key is to raise awareness and ask:
“Am I repeating this joy out of habit?”
“What future joys can be experienced by choosing a more difficult path or trying something new?”
“Does this joy bring me closer to my loved ones, help me understand myself better and connect with new people?”
And finally I’d like to explore the greatest joy – connecting to friends and understanding yourself. Research in Positive Psychology suggests that the greatest building block of wellbeing is the closeness and depth of your relationships. Friendships are not measured by the number of Facebook friends that you have, but through having a handful of friends that know your highest highs and lowest lows, who love you even when you act and look like a car crash, and fill you with warmth and love when you succeed in life.
When you meet such people cherish and love them dearly. Thanks for the inspiration Emily.
Hope you found this useful
Lots of love Andy
This week’s newsletter briefly explores our biases and tendencies and how they can get in the way of good decision making and collaborating with people. In an earlier newsletter I looked at the limited spectrum of information that we are able to comprehend. This is what I wrote a few months back:
It seems that what we think we are observing around us is such a small percentage of reality. Not only do we miss the “big picture” as well as the fine details, we actually fail to observe and recall hardly anything at all. In an amazing experiment students were asked to observe four differently coloured shapes for a fraction of a second. The shapes were flashed momentarily again and one of the shapes was rotated either to the left or to the right. The subjects were then asked to state whether there had been a rotation to the left or right. Most people failed at this task, and in fact average people were only able to tell if there had been a movement to the left or to the right if there were less than three objects to observe… Imagine that! We think we can know all that is going on around us but in fact at a conscious level we can hardly observe or recall anything.
David Eagleman is a neuroscientist at the Baylor College of Medicine and explains how limited our perception is:
“We open our eyes and we think we’re seeing the whole world out there. But what has become clear—and really just in the last few centuries—is that when you look at the electro-magnetic spectrum we are seeing less than 1/10 Billionth of the information that’s riding on there. So we call that visible light. But everything else passing through our bodies is completely invisible to us. Even though we accept the reality that’s presented to us, we’re really only seeing a little window of what’s happening.”
There is simply too much information out there for us to process.
When we observe with limited perception we tend to believe in what we see, smell, touch and hear and we form rigid views based on that perception. For a simple example of how optical illusions play tricks on us check this out:
Take a look at the clip before reading the next bit.
If you followed the task how many of you saw the gorilla? If not take another look. This is a great example of the importance of attention. When our attention is diverted by a task we can miss the obvious. As Daniel Kahneman says “we can be blind to the obvious and blind to our blindness”.
Just think how often your attention is taken by a task at work or stolen by advertising images, and then imagine how the world is misrepresented by your senses and your captured attention. That’s one of the reasons why its useful to train your attention to make it less easily manipulated. We’re surrounded by optical and other sensorial illusions and these become cognitive illusions as we process the information. Our thoughts and feelings are therefore based on an illusion.
That does not mean that all is illusion and to lack confidence in your thoughts and actions. However it is useful to cultivate more humility and understanding that your view of the world is just one impression and that others have an important perspective that can provide you with amazing insights.
This brings me onto the second point about how we develop cognitive illusions based on the illusions of our senses. Heuristic biases are the environmental factors that have influenced the way we interpret the information flowing from the sense organs to the mind. Up until the 1970s scientists broadly accepted two ideas about human nature: First, people are generally rational and second emotions such as fear and love explain departures from rationality. In the 1970s Daniel Kahneman documented more than twenty types of systematic errors in the thinking of normal people which were not based on deviations from the norm caused by strong emotions.
I’ll provide you with one example of an heuristic bias – the amount of media coverage on a particular topic impacts the importance that people place on that topic, its potential economic impact and the likelihood that it will impact them personally. That’s one of the reasons why Silvio Berlosconi benefits from control of the Italian press. There are many other biases, such as how our parents encouraged us to perceive the world. So what we see, or think we see, is influenced by the way we have see that thing before. We experience the world in an increasingly rigid way and thats why its so good to travel and experience different cultures or learn a new language so that you begin to think and express based on a different set of cultural norms.
These heuristic biases, combined with illusions of the senses (influenced by our ability to pay attention), creates an imperfect impression of the world and leads us to imperfect thinking and decision making.
None of this is a problem! By definition it’s impossible for us to observe everything in a perfect way. All it means is that all of us, especially the experts and leaders in our society, need to develop the strength of humility. The more we learn, the more we realise there is more to learn and that others have an interesting perspective. Deepening our knowledge about misperception and heuristic biases enables us to explore each others thought processes and idiosyncrasies with humour and playfulness . It enables collaboration and fosters dialogue. It reminds us that we all have a story to tell, each as precious and as valid as the next
PS. when I studied the Bhagavad-Gita in India there was a conversation between Lord Krishna and Arjuna about the impossibility of humans being able to take in the reality of their surroundings. When Lord Krishna enables this briefly Arjuna is flooded with knowledge, colour and beauty.
“O Arjuna, I have innumerable forms of diverse colors and shapes. There are many miraculous things that you have not seen before. The whole universe, both animate and inanimate, exists in one part of My divine body. You are not able to see the whole of My form with your sense perception. Therefore I will give you a divya chakshu (divine eye) through which you can see the form of the Lord as a whole.”
Reading ideas :
The invisible Gorrilla Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons
Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
In this week’s newsletter I’m going to explore some ideas on building a business based on the values of Positive Psychology. When we set up Breathe London in 2003, we didn’t have a clear strategy or a clear idea about what we wanted to achieve. For my part I knew what I didn’t want to do, ie. to continue working in corporate finance, but it wasn’t clear what I wanted to create or what I truly wanted to do. The picture has emerged slowly after lots of trials and many errors.
From the start the guiding light for developing a new career was based on a few basic ideas:
- I wanted to create a job that I loved
- I wanted to make Mondays at least as interesting as the weekends
- To create a pattern of work that allowed me to explore my interest in health and fitness
- To help other people as I supported myself financially
- Strive to add more to human and environmental wellbeing than I took through my consumption
Over the last nine years Tom and I have travelled to India, become Yoga teachers and studied for Masters degrees in Positive Psychology and Cognitive Science. During that time we’ve both explored many areas of wellbeing, including varied spiritual, physical and psychological practices. This wandering has been an important of what has made our business thrive. There’s a lovely JRR Tolkien quote:
“Not all those who wander are lost”
Sometimes you need to go on a wander to appreciate what’s important.
The findings from Positive Psychology and teachings from Yoga and Buddhism seem to support the decision we made to radically change our career paths. Some of the core findings from Positive Psychology include:
- Beyond a certain financial level, and given adequate healthcare, education and a stable political environment, additional material resources do not make us happier
- People who feel that they are happy and engaged in their worklife are more likely to be like this in their home life
In an earlier newsletter I touched on the idea of the three pillars of wellbeing:
- Autonomy – To feel free to do what you want to do in life
- Competence – To feel skilled in your role, or know resources are available to attain new skills
- Relatedness – Your life roles bring you into contact with people who you value (love) and value (love) you
Its taken a long time but I now think we have a network of amazing therapists at Breathe London, and are supported by great landlords in Jubilee Hall Trust/Coin Street and have a wonderful group of clients from whom I learn so much. As we expand to four treatment rooms and increase our corporate wellbeing events it’s important to reflect on why success has come. We broke all the rules of business development.
We didn’t (and still don’t have a strategy).
We take the minimum amount we can from the therapists that work under the Breathe banner’s earnings, to support our overheads
We want to work with clients to provide them life enhancing tools so eventually, they no longer require our services
We send clients to other organizations without expecting reciprocal arrangements
We have learnt many things over many years of wandering, but the most important thing is that while its important to work hard, you should not take yourself or your business too seriously. Try and stay playful when you build a business and look for opportunities to have fun.
Hope you found this interesting
I am fascinated by the research about how emotions are transferred between us. For example in their 2003 study Ebling & Levenson suggest that people have a simplistic subconscious system of attract versus repulse and these prime directives are expressed in signals on our faces.
As far back as 1986 Mullen’s study of the influential effects of Newscaster expressions on presidential elections, concluded that, micro facial expressions have a significant impact on peoples attract/repulse mechanism. A newscaster’s clear positive favouritism towards one candidate was shown to influence voting patterns. The study noted that this was in spite of the tendency of the news channel in question to run negative stories about the candidate. The positive micro expressions seemed to be more influential than the negative words expressed. In 1980 Wells & Petty illustrated how facial impression and movement of the head (nodding agreement) can be influenced by “senders” of energy and this in turn influences decision making and mood. Positive and negative emotions are as much an outside in as an inside out mechanism.
When one group of individuals are asked to remember a stressful event they produce identifiable, common facial patterns. When a second group is asked to mimic some of these expressions, without being asked to consider a stressful event, both groups suffer similar physiological effects. This implies that the face not only mimics inner thoughts and feelings but also drives these processes. The face may be both a display cabinet for emotions and also act as a creator of authentic emotions.
Emotions in the workplace
In 2005 Losada studied a number of management teams formulating business plans. He observed the relationship between the volume of positive expressions to negative expressions between team members (both verbal and non verbal). He then looked at the performance of the teams in the following period and found that the transmission of positive and negative emotions, through words and non verbal expression, was shown to lead to a state of flourishing, if the ratio was greater than 2.9.
In that study flourishing was defined as the profitability of the team as well as customer and staff satisfaction. In a 2004 study Shelly found that when there is a supportive network of people, to share positive events with, it is the sharing and rejoicing of an event that leads to greater wellbeing than the event itself. The degree to which positive, affirming words and body language are used in relation to sharing an event predicts the level to which wellbeing is raised.
Barbara Fredrickson has spent many years investigating the effects of positive emotions such as joy, interest, contentment and love and has concluded the following:
– They allow us to think in a broad expansive manner
– They undo the effects of negative emotions on physiology, the way you think and the way you act
– They build intellectual, physical, social and psychological resources; and
– They create a virtuous spiral of emotions leading to increasing levels of wellbeing.
The Losada research also looked at teams where there was a ratio of positive to negative expressions in excess of 8 to 1 and found that these teams were also languishing rather than flourishing. This points to the obvious conclusion that we need some bite in the workplace as well as nurturing. I think that the key points that HR departments need to draw from this research are as follows:
– Ensure that staff have a clear understanding of how to use emotions at work, in particular how to match the appropriate emotion to the task in hand
– Be aware that because emotions are easily transferable and escalate its easy for the mood of an organization to tilt into a downward spiral (below the magic number of 2.9)
– Get into the habit of celebrating the strengths and achievements of individuals and teams
– Find authentic, fun ways to raise the overall mood of the organization
We need to learn skills to help us switch between emotions in a calm manner and have the ability to return to the default position within an organization which is happy and upbeat. In our next newsletter we will explore a simple system for recognising, using, understanding and managing emotions in the workplace.
Difference between dialogue and debate
This is the ninth in a series of blogs/newsletters about the courses, teachers and books that have inspired me in the past ten years.
Our view of the world is imperfect
This week I’m continuing to explore the idea the idea that our perception of reality is narrow and imperfect. As I mentioned in an earlier newsletter, David Eagleman, a neuroscientist at the Baylor College of Medicine, explains how limited our perception is:
“We open our eyes and we think we’re seeing the whole world out there. But what has become clear—and really just in the last few centuries—is that when you look at the electro-magnetic spectrum we are seeing less than 1/10 billionth of the information that’s riding on there. So we call that visible light. But everything else passing through our bodies is completely invisible to us. Even though we accept the reality that’s presented to us, we’re really only seeing a little window of what’s happening. There are so many examples of this such as optical illusions and false recall by eye witnesses . Illusions demonstrate that these really simple things that you think are going on in front of you are not actually representing physical reality but instead your brain is constructing something.”
Recognizing this limited view is an important step in recognising that the truth of reality can only emerge through dialogue. David Eagleman describes this as the umwelt : the assumption that our reality is the only reality out there. In yoga this imperfect view is described as Avidya (basically ignorance).This umwelt creates a belief that our view is the correct one and also an arrogance about our abilities compared to others. Part of yoga training is to start to understand this veil of ignorance. Our brains can never be equipped to understand the universe and that it is only through dialogue between people, between communities and between humans and the rest of the natural world that something approximating to a higher truth can emerge. Yoga training also teaches us to be confident about our place in the world and to play to our strengths whilst also developing humility ie. we need to be humble because our singular view of the universe will by definition be imperfect
How to explore a more perfect truth through dialogue
Take a look around the people at work and spend some time listening to what they say and what you are saying. Begin to start analysing conversations and decide whether conversational exchanges are debating (ie. arguing a case to support a particular view of the world) or dialogue (ie. developing and exploring someone else’s ideas).
We find that many conversations are defensive in nature where we seek to find evidence to bolster our world view and we also align our world view with our sense of confidence and position in the world. Authentic leaders have the ability to separate their feelings of confidence with the dialogue that unfolds around them. They listen to emerging truths and don’t hold rigidly to a set world view. Allowing ourselves to accept that others have difference insights (and sometimes greater knowledge) can be unsettling. It requires great courage and real internal confidence to listen to others even when they might be in more socially junior positions to us.
Over the next few weeks at work listen to others and what you are saying and ask yourself whether ideas are being created or positions bolstered. To help with this process these may be some of the differences between dialogue and debate:
The conditions for good dialogue at work:
The group is welcoming, everyone matters and is included, being ‘in dialogue’ is celebrated, participants are attentive to the physical environment.
There are many ways to contribute, no one is compelled to talk and each kind of contribution impacts on the group. Each person’s contribution is acknowledged.
Paying attention at many levels, of what is said, how it is said, how it relates to what has already been said. Attention must also be paid to what is not said. Mindfulness is also about an awareness of the discussion as a whole and how well it is addressing the issues being explored.
No one person’s knowledge and understanding are total. Participants accept that there is always more to learn and the group’s collective wisdom benefits each individual.
Humility demands deep listening; humble participants listen at three levels, to self, to others and to the group for shared learning.
The more each person is free to contribute the more everyone else profits. Mutuality also suggests a commitment to inquiry, raising questions to foster individual and collective understanding.
This refers to the willingness of participants to explore issues as fully as possible, offering arguments and counter arguments. Deliberations obliges us to take strong, well substantiated stands unless there are good reasons not to.
Taking the time to acknowledge a useful insight or contribution. The opportunity to discuss difficult issues is life-enhancing and so we should seize opportunities to express gratitude to others as part of that.
Hope is a mainstay of good dialogue. It assumes that good can come of people taking the time to discuss important issues. It affirms our collective capacity to use dialogue to envision new possibilities and act towards the common good.
We have a responsibility to stand up for what we believe. It doesn’t negate the value of learning from and with the group, but there are times when we feel we must defy the group and go our own way. The importance of autonomy reinforces the idea that groups are strongest when individuals are affirmed and allowed to voice their views.
listen for meaning
enlarge and change
stresses skills of synthesis
temporary suspension of belief
everyone part of the problem
listen for flaws
affirms own views
stresses skills of analysis
invest wholeheartedly in own belief
one solution wins
Learning to meditate
This is the third in a series of blogs and newsletters about the different wellbeing courses I’ve attended over the last thirteen years. I’ve picked the courses, teachers and books that have had the most profound impact on the way that I perceive the world. One of the most transformational courses was a ten day Vipassana meditation retreat in the Rocky mountains four years ago.
As I left Vancouver on a rainy Summers day I was filled with uncertainty about the challenge ahead. As the bus snaked through the foothills I was reluctant to leave the misty Pacific and I reflected on the rules that I had agreed to abide by for the next 10 days:
– No communication with anyone on the course. This included verbal and non verbal communication. For example eye contact with fellow participants was to be avoided.
– No communication with the outside world
– No ipods, no music, no books or magazines. Nothing to hear or read or watch for 10 days
– A simple vegetarian diet with no alcohol, no tobacco or drugs of any kind and just two small meals per day
– Complete emersion in the practice. They were to teach us a form of meditation and we were to practice this style only
– Each day started at 5am and lasted until 10pm. 90% of this time was to be spent in a shaded room sitting cross legged on the floor practicing the Vipassana meditation technique. The rest of the time was to be spent taking silent walks alone in the forest or receiving meditation instructions.
So you can understand my concern! This was serious spiritual bootcamp. Why endure this when there was so much to see outside – the beautiful snow capped Rocky Mountains. Why spend time looking inside alone with my hopes and fears for 10 days. Where would the love be, the touch of another, the smile and the loving support that we all need?
The taxi drive from Merritt greyhound station up to the retreat in the mountains only took about 20 minutes. What surprised me most was the electric fence surrounding the centre to keep Grizzlies at bay. Throughout the early part of the course my thoughts kept returning to whether, in the event of a power cut, they had a good backup generator. I didn’t want to be eaten by a bear just as I was on the threshold of enlightenment.
Before dinner on day -1 we met the people on the course and as usual on such things there were people from all walks of life. On this course there were four senior members of Obamas election campaign team. After dinner we received the first of our instructions and from then on we agreed to engage in the practice and not communicate.
We spent the first three days practicing a breathing technique to help make the mind sharp. Over three days we focussed our attention on the sensation of the breath entering and leaving the nose – how warm it felt as it left the body, how cold it felt as it entered the body, which nostril it came in through more strongly etc. 3 days focussing on the sensations felt at the tip of the nose!
After that we were taught to focus our attention at the top of the head and enquire, without thought, what the sensation of observing felt like. As we observed the body did we feel heat, cold, joy, pain, light etc ?
From here we learnt to scan the body from top to toe and back up constantly remaining present to the observation of sensation. Perhaps each scan took an hour to complete. Sometimes it felt excruciatingly painful in my back and knees. Part of the process was to learn to become dispassionate about this discomfort. Sometimes harrowing thoughts and sadness kept intruding. Sometimes the boredom felt crushing and sometimes when you were able to be truly in the moment you felt utter bliss and pleasure.
At the end of each day we received video instruction on how to improve our practice. Many of the key messages that came through during the 10 days have stayed with me:
– The mind is lively and excitable. It’s obvious that we have a brain to think and create with but it’s also clear that having periods in each day where we train ourselves not to think can be extremely relaxing. It also gives you a sense of calm and understanding that you don’t have to clutter your mind with thoughts and clutter your life with so much stuff
– Practicing not thinking helps us become more dispassionate. This does not mean that we loose passion. During the 10 days observing the body mind relationship you realise that pain and pleasure are often self created mind constructs. They ebb and flow. You learn to accept that sometimes there is pleasure, sometimes pain. That’s not to say that there is no real pain in the world. The pain of loss and suffering is real but the scanning practice that I’ve talked about here illustrates to us that pain and pleasure are certain throughout life but that these states are not constant.
– The practice teaches us to be empathetic and sympathetic to the pain of others but not to allow that pain and suffering to affect the balance and equanimity of our own mind. This might sound cold hearted but a loss of hope and negative emotions can be contagious if you let them. You can only be a source for positive change in yourself, loved ones and the world if you engage with the pain of others but not allow it to affect your underlying state. A daily meditation practice helps you do this by reminding you that pain and pleasure states flow.
– Similarly you appreciate that the bliss, joy and ecstasy of deep relaxation is also illusory, ie enjoy it whilst it lasts but don’t crave positive feelings. Craving and desire inexorably leads to pain and suffering because inevitably at some stage in life you wont be able to get what you once had nor do what you once did. The practice teaches you to stay open to new possibilities and not overly attach to one type of pleasure sensation again and again. Pleasure can lead to habits, minor addictions, major addictions and suffering for you and others. Not overly attaching to one pleasure allows the full world of possible sensations to be experienced. As you focus your attention on one thing with your eyes closed it enables you to be present to a stream of endless beautiful possibilities when your eyes are open.
– Lastly towards the end of the 10 days we were instructed in the practice of a loving kindness meditation. This practice teaches us to harness the good will and positive energy that has been accumulated during the previous 10 days and communicate it to all beings. We are reminded that the practice of mindfulness and meditation is meaningless without positive intention. Many people use spiritual practices as a means of withdrawing from the outer world and suppressing emotions. Practicing meditation without developing kindness and compassion has been described as bare attention ( as opposed to bear attention). You do these practices not to become isolated from but to become an active, engaged, positive member of society.
On day 10 we opened our eyes and I felt as though I knew my fellow participants in a very deep way. I felt re wired, buzzing, energised and fully alive. The next 3 weeks were spent with my family camping in the Rocky Mountains with my eyes wide open. The world is so beautiful. Enjoy all it has to offer.
Find out more about Vipassana mediation centres all over the world . This is the one in British Columbia that I went to http://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schsurabhi.shtml
Over the course of the next 12 weeks I’m going to talk about transformation. Eight years ago I was a chartered accountant working in corporate finance. Now I run Breathe London, teach yoga, massage, do personal development coaching and run positive psychology workshops.
In order to understand how I created the job that I love I’m going to introduce the key tipping points, courses I’ve studied, inspirational teachers I’ve met and books that have changed the way I think and feel.
The courses include Emotional intelligence psychometric testing and coaching, a masters in positive psychology, life coaching, Reiki mastery, Sivananda yoga, Hawaiian massage and Polynesian philosophy, deep tissue massage, vipassana mediation, mindfulness coaching, Iyengar yoga, Tai chi, scuba diving and many more
Each week I’ll explore each area to give you an insight into how each of these courses has improved the quality of my life. I’ll also provide details on courses that you can attend and teachers that I recommend.
Transformation of the mind can never be pinpointed, it’s an ongoing process. However there are often key moments which feel like tectonic plate movements. One of the first that I felt was on a glorious Summers day walking across the Domain in Sydney in 1999. It was a Friday and I was stressed about a deal that I was involved on. As I looked into the distance I suddenly noticed how green the trees were in the botanical gardens. They seemed to shimmer and vibrate. Next I caught the sun glinting on the harbour and felt it also warm my cheeks. Overhead a Qantas jet banked over the harbour bridge. I felt my body and mind fill with light and burst with pleasure. I felt connected with everything around me. My experience merged completely with my environment. It was as though for the first time I was in tune with my surroundings. I felt a burst of energy which felt like the whole world was powering me. I wept and life has never been the same since.
Now whether this event occurred because of the people who implanted ideas or because of the books I read or the courses I attended or because of predetermination I shall never know. All I know is that every so often when I stop and observe the world I feel fully energised and blessed to be alive.
Have a happy and transformational new year
One of my clients said to me recently that it was a very special thing to love what you do. In all sincerity I can truly say that I love the job that I’ve created over the last eight years. I love teaching yoga and helping people feel much better with massage. I love the rich conversations that develop during positive psychology coaching sessions. I cherish the team of therapists that work at Breathe London and the wonderful support we get from staff at the Colombo centre. And I love to see our clients, many of whom have become good friends.
Eight years ago when we set up this business we were looking for a fresh challenge. I also wanted to experience what the Buddhists call Right Livelihood ie that my job not only supports me financially and enables me to grow as a person but also enable me to give back to society. I left the world of corporate finance at KPMG eight years ago. Prior to that I had spent some very happy years in Australia. It was in Australia that I first became interested in massage, yoga and psychology and over the last twelve years I’ve explored these areas in order to better understand myself and enable me to become a better therapist.
Three years after we started the business we came across the Colombo centre, a not for profit sports and community centre which uses its surplus to fund community programs in South London. I thought it was a good idea to build a business in a place that promoted wellbeing to those in society that could least afford it. It also enabled me to feel that I contributed to my local community. Having the Breathe business at Colombo means that we bring affluent people into a community centre . Many of our clients value us because we offer a great personal service and because we have this strong ethical element. Some of my city hedge fund managers now practice yoga with people who have lived in the local community all their lives. I like this mixing.
Breathe has developed as an integrated mind body practice. We recognise that physical and emotional issues often go hand in hand and we therefore have nutrition therapy, life coaching and hypnotherapy to compliment our physical therapies. The idea was to create a business that provided our clients with empowering tools to help our clients help themselves.
My challenge for 2012 is to get more people interested in Breathe London and understand more about our ethics and values, where we came from and how we are building an integrated wellbeing practice
Have a wonderful Christmas break and fabulous 2012
Lots of love
Brains of happy people tuned in to notice positive events
Psychologists Wil Cunningham and Tabitha Kirkland at Ohio state university observed the brain scans of volunteers whilst showing them pictures designed to evoke positive, negative or neutral responses. Positive images included a basket of kittens and negative images included someone being threatened with a gun.
What they found was that those participants who rated their own subjective level of happiness highly had a greater arousal of the amygdala (a region of the brain used to process information about the world around us and our emotional responses to it) when shown positive images, than participants who rated themselves lower on self reported happiness scales.
The scans results showed that all the volunteers responded in similar ways to negative and neutral images. What this may suggest is that people with a rosy outlook on life respond positively to positive stimulus in their environment and are more likely to observe these events, however they are still highly aware of threats around them. They see the world in a balanced way.
When I learnt the vipassana meditation technique I was constantly reminded to keep observing the world afresh. The mantra was to view the world as it is rather than how you think it should be.
That’s one of the great things about positive psychology – its interventions train your mind to focus on what’s good in the world and by doing so you build the tenacity to overcome your challenges and deal with the threats. For all the problems in the world its still a beautiful life
Our next positive psychology course details are at Breathe London